Though many people may not like to admit it, being judgemental appears to be a human characteristic. Most people are judgemental in one way or another. As human’s it seems as though we like to judge everything but it appears most common for us to judge one another. Because we judge one another, humans have a need or want to impress in the same process so that we are only judged in a positive light.
It was not until I had come across this small article that I had questioned whether or not humans as a race were judgemental by nature or whether the circumstances of certain societies imposed this quality on us.
Ben Thomas, a head teacher at a private day school in south-west London, was talked about recently after he came out with a statement that said that children should not be allowed to have single best friends at a young age as it would be less harmful for the intellectual wellbeing of a child to have many good friends instead. There were many reasons behind this. One was that it isn’t healthy to decide to distribute your love unequally at such a young age. The best friend deserves the most love whilst the other kids are loved less. Why can’t everybody be loved equally?
The fact that one seems to seek a best friend may well simply be just because it is easier to go through life with one person by your side. The basic notion of going through something together is much less intimidating than the idea of doing something alone.
Or instead, seeking a best friend could be because we’re trained to judge. Kids go out into school judging what other kids are wearing, how smart other kids are or where other kids come from so that we can find out who is the best for us. We always want to know who the best is.
And as children grow up, they continue to judge people and only associate with those that are best for them in whatever light they may be looking at.
When we were children, our parents dressed us so that we didn’t dress ourselves in a way that others may disapprove of. Our parents taught us manners so that we could interact with other people in a way that was socially acceptable and not judged.
Every little thing we were taught was so that we could be well presented in front of the judgemental eyes of others.
Society is judgmental and we are trained to conform to this judgement at a young age.
Personally, growing up with 5 best friends, each one of equal standing in the group dynamic taught me a little something about judging. Each one of my friends is different. By this, I learnt that if we judged a little less, we would be able to see that being different in a group of friends or society as a whole isn’t a bad thing, It can only be a good thing because you add a different type of insight and knowledge to every situation and sometimes this difference is needed, I would have never got to know this if I had judged.